Hell’s Belles

Eight cannons, a massive bell, a huge “Rosie” sitting astride the stage-crashed locomotive running off the tracks, seemed to appear out of nowhere. We could feel the concussion and heat of the fireworks and explosions but for the life of me I couldn’t smell anything.

“Close proximity fireworks” burst diameters measure a few feet rather than hundreds of feet for outdoor fireworks. Display fireworks may be as big as two feet in diameter but close proximity pyrotechnics are typically one to two inches in size and no larger than four.

Outdoor fireworks are never fired over people but some indoor fireworks are fired over audiences’ heads because everything is consumed in the air leaving no fallout and nothing falls to the ground.

These kinds of pyrotechnics are governed by the National Fire Protection Act Code 1126 which covers chemistry, construction, placement, and firing of close proximity pyrotechnics. NFPA 1126 says that close proximity fireworks may be placed as close as fifteen feet from audiences and structures.

Oddly, there is no such thing as a nation-wide license or permit for the use of these kinds of indoor pyrotechnics. Licensing of pyrotechnicians is usually handled by the State Fire Marshal’s office. Performance permits are handled by whatever authority has jurisdiction over the venue, usually the local fire marshal.

Fifteen feet felt more like fifteen inches: something exploded right in my face during Thunderstruck. I was blinded as the heavy metal coursed through my body. I was dancing in sightless ecstasy.

“[B]right light can blanch the light sensitive rods and cones in our retinas, especially the cones,” says Kenton McWilliams, O.D., Optometrist. “When saturated, the cones are unable to discriminate color as well.”

My rods were overwhelmed. But I began to see Dawn’s rhinestone cross dangling from her neck. My cones were coming back because I could make out the luscious hot pink of Dawn’s lips as she was saying something in the ungodly din that is AC-DC.

... separated at lips

“Purrrvehrt…. purrrvehrt!”

I came to and we went nuts.

‘Hells Bells‘ and ‘Shoot to Thrill‘ and then ‘You Shook Me All Night Long.’ By the time the band finished its encore with ‘Highway to Hell‘ and ‘For Those About to Rock (We Salute You),’ we were good to go.

Before we got back to L.A., Dawn had let her hair down. Our ears were ringing as the hot smoky winds blew blonde curls around her face.

“That’s how the wind blows out in the desert, Mike,” she said easing over next to me. “Just like they sing in ‘Rock N Roll Train’ – your mind on fantasy, livin’ on the ecstasy.”

NEXT: Fireworks go afoul the next night in the Southland’s supposed ‘greenest’ city, Santa Monica, as 6,400 fireworks display celebrating the pier’s centennial smokes out thousands. A toxic pall settles over the town as Denise Anne and Michael go “Up in Smoke.”

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